by Anonymous Logician, Copyright March 17, 2006, all rights reserved. 911 views
I know what the real conspiracy in Hollywood is. Ready? It's preventing Sean Bean from landing a role as a good guy who lasts for the entire movie. Bean's British coolness, low-key but visible confidence, and slightly rugged masculinity make him great to watch in a world of sensitive metrosexuals. Bean makes a great villain, but it would be nice to have him on our side for once. Check out this rough filmography:
National Treasure. Bean delivered the best performance in a fun though not spectacular Nick Cage adventure. But he was the bad guy.
Patriot Games. I can't really recommend this movie, but a younger Bean did a good job as an Irish terrorist animated only by revenge and hatred for Jack Ryan. Again, bad guy.
GoldenEye. Never saw it, but two words: Bad guy.
Lord of the Rings. Bean, as Boromir, dies in the first installment. (And he tried to take the Ring.)
Equilibrium. Again, Bean was a good guy, kind of, but this time died in the first half hour of the film.
Anyone know a movie in which Bean doesn't (a) play a villain or (b) die before the story gets moving? I'm telling you, man. Black helicopters.