by Chris Alexion, Copyright November 24, 2005, all rights reserved. 181 views
I represented Christian Logic at a Christian school convention in Arlington, VA this Monday and Tuesday. Driving to the hotel/convention center taught me that Charlie Daniels was wrong. The devil didn't come down to Georgia; he came down to Virginia. And I guess Johnny wasn't there to beat old Lucifer at fiddling, because the streets are devilishly twisted.
Seriously. Evolutionists wonder where the missing links went. I know the answer; they got involved in civil engineering. (Either that or they became logic book representatives.) The trouble began when I tried to get to the Mariott. There are actually three Mariotts in Arlington, and I went to all of them before I found the right one. It felt like something out of St. Paul: "I went to the Mariott, and to the Mariott, and to the Mariott."
When I first turned into the Courtyard, at least I was clever enough to half-expect I was at the wrong Marriot. "How do I get to the Crystal City Mariott?" I asked the girl at the front desk. Her directions were good, and I confidently approached the front desk of the new hotel a few minutes later. But it turned out my reservation, which I thought was at the Crystal City Mariott, was really at the Crystal Gateway Mariott. And this third hotel "is just across the street."
Just across the street. But I should have known it would be easier to get to the wrong place than to the right one. The trouble with Arlington is that the streets are so unforgiving. You can't make a mistake. If you do, a relentless array of one-way streets, this-way-onlys and no-turns-on-reds will make sure you get forced onto a freeway for five miles before you can U-turn with any kind of legality. And then, if you're not well-trained in memory games you might make another fatal slip and be forced onto the freaking freeway again. Not that this happened to me, though.
After I successfully checked into this last bastion of the Arlington Mariotts, my helper and I unloaded our books and set up our Christian Logic booth in the exhibit hall. Things were going fine; we even had dinner with some friends of mine near Warrenton. But on our way back (it was approaching midnight), I missed the exit that would have taken us to Route 1 and our Mariott. So I found myself (suprise, suprise) forced onto a freeway. (Could someone fill me in on why they call them freeways, again?) But this wasn't the same as my old familiar freaking freeway. It was a different one, which for the purposes of distinguishing I'll call the blasted freeway. This freeway took me over the Potomac and into DC. Visions of being in Baltimore before I could turn around flashed through my mind. Seeing an exit for 11th St., I took the chance.
So here I was in downtown DC, when my hotel was in Arlington, VA. All I needed was to get to I-325, and I knew I had it from there. Fortunately I had another set of directions from downtown, and with only minimal problems I found the interstate. DC actually looked pretty cool at 12:30 in the morning, with its neat grid and illuminated monuments. The traffic lights are hard to see in their positions way off to the side, though. Trust me on this one.
Anyway, once I'd headed back across the river and gained Route 1, I pulled back into our parking garage and we made it to our room. It was around one o'clock.
1 • SEE • November 24, 2005 • 8:24 PM
Bravo, Chris! You navigated the streets, overcame the obstacles, and achieved the goal! BTW, we're glad to see a new post 
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