by Chris Alexion, Copyright September 05, 2006, all rights reserved. 179 views
With three weeks remaining in this semester, time to write blog posts is scarce. You can sense the desparation in the fact that I'm posting a New Testament Greek rap parody. This was written a few months ago during Intermediate Greek with Pastor Bill Einwechter. Despite the challenge, we actually enjoyed this class…but don't tell Pastor Bill.
These ideas are nightmares to white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes grammar
Like the rules of English have no bearing, it's so scary in a language that has no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care
He's a problem child and what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about
His Greek professor walkin' out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out
His diphtongs are wacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back
Like Dr. Black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He slurs his alphas, kappas, in his learning gap
His classical tutor hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose
His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just lets his emotions go…
[Chorus]
{C'mon}, sing with me, {sing}, sing for the words
{Sing it}, sing for the pronouns, sing for the verbs, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away…
[Verse 2]
Interpretation is changin', intertwinin' with language,
In the land of participles, a cripple's mind is a sanctum
Wholly be misjudgin', only have one subscript
With the big one above it, but don't anyone love it
Yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess iotas are a bugger; they can be great
Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate
It's like the teacher hangs on every single error we make
Like he tortures us, plus the whole course keeps us trapped in
Now how the heck did this metamorphosis happen?
From standin' on corners and porches with kappas
To reduplication, no more kissin' the past
But then your classmates crucify you, professors try to burn you
Nouns turn on you, adverbs all want a turn at you
To get they hands on every score you have
They want you to lose your mind the more you mad
So they can try to make you out to look like Greek weenie
Any preposition will have multiple meanings
That's why these classmates just wanna convict me,
Strictly just to get they own scores up quickly
But in class they be listenin' to me religiously, so I'm declining "polis" while police fingerprint me
It's for the teacher's daughter but his beef is against me
If I'm a grammatical menace, this just doesn't make sense, Pete!
It's all political, if my translation's literal, and I'm a criminal how the heck can I raise a little girl?
I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to, you're full of it too, Guerrera,
That was a fist that hit you…
[CHORUS]
[Verse 3]
They say context can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it find a main verb for you , and parse it too?
Well if it can, then the next time you parsing's skewed,
Just tell the prof it was my fault, and I'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us usin' King James
And they want to get one cause they think it's bling games
Not knowin' we really just protectin' our trade,
We still in training; of course this is affectin' our grades, you ignoramus
But grammar is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our checks in the mail
It's messed up, ain't it, how we can come from practically nothing
To being able to parse any freaking verb that we want, and
That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing
Except for a dream, and a stinkin' Greek magazine
Who post conjugations on they walls all day long
Idolize they favorite forms, more than Barry Bonds
Or for anyone who's ever been through Greek in their lives
Till they weep and they cry at night keeping alive
Till they throw on a vocab record and they steep, and they vibe
We're nothin' to you but we the Socrates in they eyes
That's why we seize the grammar, try to freeze it and plan it,
Squeeze it and cram it, so we can study betas and gammas
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, like eluomen, eluete, eluon, and we can…
[CHORUS X2]
1 • JJJ • September 05, 2006 • 8:58 PM
This must've taken you the entire length of the Greek class! It’s hilarious! Do you have a particular tune/rhythm for it? Have you always liked rap or was it mostly Abdul's influence?
~Jenn
2 • Chris • September 10, 2006 • 6:22 PM
Jenn:
The tune is Eminem's "Sing for the Moment" (which takes its chorus from "Dream On" by Aerosmith…one of the all-time greatest rock songs).
I actually only like a little rap…and yes, that was before Abdul.
——-