by Chris Alexion, Copyright August 20, 2005, all rights reserved. 463 views
DAVENPORT, IA–Rev. Mark Soape has become unexpectedly famous. That's because Soape, 45, has registered the last possible Presbyterian church. The micro-deonomination to which Soape belongs is the Association of American Reformed Presbyterian Churches of the Midwest, USA (AARPCMUSA), a small group that currently has only one church. "But we're working on a church plant in Michigan," said Soape.
The AARPCMUSA marks the last confessional slot open to new churches. "There's only so many possible combinations of views on eschatology, alcohol, the regulative principle, the two tables of the law, and other issues," says Dr. John Frame of Reformed Theological Seminary. "And with the habit some denominations have of making more and more issues essential to membership, eventually all the combinations had to be exhausted."
Soape is confident that the AARPCMUSA will grow based on its combination of doctrinal convictions. "We're a non-smoking, pro-alcohol, exclusive hymn-singing, premillennial church that believes the civil magistrate should enforce the first table only," he said. "We just know people want to be a part of this."
Note: While this piece has a point, it's intended in good fun, and is not a slur against the great minds, good friends, and generally cool dudes in the Presbyterian tradition. So enjoy…unless your denominational standards forbid satire.
1 • Chris • August 21, 2005 • 9:24 PM
Charles Spurgeon said something good about the Christian's use of satire….I just can't remember what it was ./chrisalexion_2008-10_wordpress_export_files/icon_smile.gif alt=:- class=wp-smiley Very funny piece. I never been a Presby, but I'm aware of the tendency to exponentially denominate
2 • Daniel Lewis • August 21, 2005 • 10:19 PM
Chris,
Very good! (and very funny) Like sarah, I too would probably almost shaking the house with laughter if i were not almost shaking it with snores 
.
Memorable commentary on a sad tendency in christendom. Satan either wants us to misapply "A new commandment I give you, that ye love one another" and end up erring in ecumenicalism, or else include "believers in the non-existence of the adamic navel" in the I Corinthians 5 list of men about whom Paul commands, "With such a one, do not even eat".
3 • jn • May 25, 2007 • 11:12 AM
Ugh…a premillennial? I'm going to have to consider excommunication. That one remaining church is going to have to be split.
I'm a Presbyterian (PCA)… I love it, but do need to be careful to not be "proud" over doctrine.
