by Anonymous Logician, Copyright February 08, 2007, all rights reserved. 604 views
Someone said recently that these are tough times for aspiring satirists. They're right. We sarcastic writers, particularly of an anti-statist bent, can hardly think of a loopy scenario that hasn't already sprung to life in some progressive municipality. Caustic fiction has become incarnate fact. The headlines put our spoofs to shame.
Such is the case in Philadelphia today, where the City Council agreed to ban–drumroll please–trans fats. Cheap vegetable spreads didn't stand a chance. While it took the council five years to ban smoking, the semi-solid fatty substance found itself ousted in weeks. Unanimously. I'm not making this up.
The ban extends to foods prepared in restaurants within the city. Prepackaged foods–like Tastycake, the ubiquitous Philly snack–get off the hook. The ban takes effect on September 1, and so far no penalties are provided for violators. But lawmakers say they can come up with them fast enough if restaurants buck the new ban.
I was even more shocked to learn that New York City has already banned said reprehensible substance, and nineteen states are considering it. What can I say? How can I improve on the evident nanny-state reductio ad absurdum the city of Philadelphia has been gracious enough to provide?
Maybe I could propose that obese Philadelphians should sue the city for not banning the stuff sooner.