by Chris Alexion, Copyright July 11, 2005, all rights reserved. 175 views
LOS ANGELES–The latest in women's health care now involves large bags of money. No, it's not rising Medicare costs. It's the Bank Robbery program taking gynecology by storm. "We've always believed in a woman's fundamental right to choose. We're just beginning to see a full realization of this right, and its recognition in contemporary mores," said Dr. Barbara Clemens of UCLA. Clemens explained that under this new program, women discuss different banks and security systems with their doctor, who advises them on different options and helps them select the perfect firearm. "The procedure is very safe," said Clemens. "Women are carefully monitored by their doctor all the way into the bank and back out to the getaway vehicle."
"My doctor and I looked at all my options," said Mary Klein of Anaheim. "We decided that the M-16 was too heavy, so we went with the smaller M-4 carbine with two spare mags, and a Glock 9mm in a shoulder holster for a backup. She helped me cover the bank teller and held the door so I could carry the money out. I'm doing a lot better thanks to the procedure," she said.
Some opponents have sharply criticized the Bank Robbery procedure on religious grounds, saying it violates private property and current homicide legislation. Such reactions are absurd, argued Clemens. "What a woman does in the bank is a decision that must be made between her and her doctor," she said.
Critics also point to flaws in the program, such as a bank teller who ended up in the ICU with bullet wounds. Other alleged flaws include instances where women have been knocked down and handcuffed by bank security guards while in the middle of the Bank Robbery. "These instances are exceptions," said Dr. Sue Black. "They're manifestations of the male aggressive instinct."
1 • Sarah Thomas • July 12, 2005 • 2:09 AM
wow….. that's so ironically funny that it's sobering. sin makes people awfully stupid. and what about all those babies that DON'T end up in ICU, 'cause they were delivered "dead" into a toilet? (see world magazine article: http://www.worldmag.com/displayarticle.cfm?id=10740) it makes me sick just to think about….
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