by Chris Alexion, Copyright October 07, 2005, all rights reserved. 163 views
WASHINGTON–An annoucement from the White House today confirms that the president's veto is missing. Rumors have circulated for months about the veto, including claims that it had been destroyed by a tractor at the president's Crawford ranch or that it was stolen by Islamic extremists.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan expressed embarassment. "We were hoping to have found the veto by now," he said. McClellan admitted that the veto has been missing since early in President Bush's administration, which explains the president's refusal to reject any bills passed by Congress.
"The president and I, and many members of the White House staff, have spent fruitless hours searching for the darn thing," said McClellan. "We checked under his bed, in the medicine cabinet, and even went through Barney's chew toys to make sure he didn't have it. No luck."
Pundits are divided over whether the loss is actually a benefit. "I believe Bush may have won reelection because he didn't have his veto," says Bill Crystol of The Weekly Standard. "It's pathetic," said MSNBC's Chris Matthews. "How can we expect him to keep the country safe (not to mention provide jobs) if he can't keep track of a stupid veto?"
Top Bush officials say the president isn't opposed to using the veto once he finds it. "He's just itching for a fight; he wants to take on the Dems. No, really," said Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. "Big spending really isn't the president's thing," said Security Chief Andy Card. "I'm sure he'll find the veto sometime before his term ends."
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